Monday, April 10, 2017

Exciting Ludlow Changes!

I have been quiet on my social media since the end of my 2016 track season. I went through a world of emotions after the high of my huge personal best of exactly 1 second in Monaco in late July. It had certainly put me in a different level of track athlete- a category that I always desired to be placed in. One of the first emotions to hit me was confusion. Before the start of my season, I had a clear cut plan in my head as to what my future would look like, both on and off the track after my 2016 season. After speaking to my coach, agent, and fellow track competitors, a sense of hesitation about "my plan" loomed over my head for the coming month. Was this my new potential as an 800 runner? What did this tell me about how next season could end up? Comments like, "you can't stop now!" and "I can't wait to see what you do next year" were emailed, texted, messaged, mailed, and spoken to me everyday. I took a vacation from the track the entire month of August, watched the Olympics from my couch, and tried to put it out of my mind for as long as possible. 

Coach Helmer and I had been in touch erratically. He didn't want to bother me, and I didn't want to talk about track. It was finally in the last week of August at our family vacation in Holland, Michigan when "my gut" suddenly felt something. It was at the beautiful beach house in Saugatuck, Michigan that my in-laws rent for two weeks. My sister was visiting for a few days with her kiddos and we had a long day in the sun. Her babes were going to sleep and my niece Tessa looked up at me before going upstairs and said "Mo Mo, will you snuggle with me?" It was at that moment that I knew. I knew that nothing in this world was more important than my family and "my plan." I wanted that! I wanted a little boy or girl of my own to ask me to snuggle every day and night, all day everyday. Sure, I could have prepared to make 2017 my most successful track season thus far. But this was never going to bring me the joy and happiness of doing the one thing I had been waiting 2 years to do: grow my little family of two.

The sport has brought me so many incredible experiences and more importantly, taught me how to handle myself with confidence in the most difficult of situations. I have met hundreds of friends- some of them are the most badass athletes on the planet. I have traveled to 6 continents- and before 2010, I had never left the country. I have enjoyed every minute of competition, the utter pain of track workouts, and every non air-conditioned foreign hotel room.

Now that my decision was made, the heaviness of the confusion I had been feeling was quickly lifted. And then it was thrown RIGHT back on when I picked an OB/GYN and went in for my first appointment, realizing the reality of my situation. Fertility problems are a lot more common than I realized in elite athletes with low body fat. Starting my family was not going to be possible without the use of medication. I was prescribed a medication for 4 months. This medication stops its effectiveness after 4 months of use. The first three months went by with disappointment, and that final month, just a few days before heading to a fertility doctor, I received the best news of my life:
 I was pregnant!
I am so blessed to have conceived a child quickly with medication, as I have friends who have struggled through extensive fertility treatments, only to be constantly disappointed each month. 

The same week I found out I was pregnant,  I also heard back from the IU School of Nursing to inform me that I had been admitted to IU to start the Accelerated BSN program here where we live in downtown Indianapolis. So here I am- 13 weeks pregnant with a baby boy due October 18th, and starting my new career path in a few weeks. My dreams have all come true- and I am beyond excited to finally let the news out! Bring on the Ludlow boys ;)

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